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Forgetting Our Way to Shared Meaning: Effects of Forgetting on Conceptual Alignment in a Non-Partnership Coordination Game

This paper investigates how memory characteristics, such as adaptiveness and degradation, influence the emergence and evolution of shared meaning in a non-partnership coordination game, revealing that adaptive agents achieve faster and more accurate conceptual convergence while non-adaptive agents perceive convergence earlier, and that gradually weighing novel information less over time fosters more stable agreements.

Original authors: Landon Liu, Mary Kelly, Alan Tsang

Published 2026-07-14
📖 4 min read☕ Coffee break read

Original authors: Landon Liu, Mary Kelly, Alan Tsang

Original paper licensed under CC BY 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/). This is an AI-generated explanation of the paper below. It is not written or endorsed by the authors. For technical accuracy, refer to the original paper. Read full disclaimer

Imagine two friends trying to agree on what a "good week" actually means. For one, it's surviving a disaster; for the other, it's winning a trophy. They keep talking, but they can't quite sync up. Why? Because our brains aren't just hard drives; they are messy, shifting landscapes that forget and change.

This paper runs a digital experiment to see how our memory's ability to change (or "forget") affects how well we understand each other. The researchers built a computer game where two agents (let's call them Robot A and Robot B) try to sort objects into categories. They don't talk about how to sort; they just shout out labels. If they shout the same label, they get a point. If they shout different ones, they get a "pain score" based on how far apart their mental definitions are.

The big question: Does it help if your brain is super flexible and updates quickly with every new piece of info? Or is it better if your brain is a bit stubborn and holds onto its old ideas?

The Two Types of Brains

The researchers tested two main strategies:

  1. The "Adaptive" Brain: This agent is like a sponge. Every time it learns something new, it immediately shifts its mental categories a little bit to fit the new info. It's always changing.
  2. The "Non-Adaptive" Brain: This agent is like a stone. It has a plan, and it sticks to it. It only shifts its categories a tiny bit, and over time, it gets even less flexible, forgetting how to change at all.

The Big Surprise: Feeling vs. Being

Here is the twist the simulation revealed. The "Adaptive" agents were actually better at agreeing. They reached a true, shared understanding faster, and their final mental categories were closer together. They were the ones who actually synced up.

But here's the funny part: The Adaptive agents thought they were failing. Because they were constantly shifting their views, they felt like they were never quite on the same page as their partner. They mistook their own flexibility for a lack of agreement.

The "Non-Adaptive" agents, on the other hand, were worse at actually agreeing. Their mental categories stayed further apart. But they thought they were perfect. Because they were so stubborn and stable, they felt like they had agreed way earlier than they actually had. They mistook their own stubbornness for harmony.

The Numbers Behind the Magic

The researchers ran thousands of these digital conversations. They found that when the "Adaptive" agents were allowed to update their memories by 10% with new information, they ended up with a final average distance between their concepts of just 0.62. When they only updated by 1%, that distance was 0.747.

In contrast, the "Non-Adaptive" agents, whose ability to change degraded by tiny amounts like 0.001% or 0.1% over time, often never truly synced up at all. If their ability to change got too weak too fast, they just couldn't move their mental categories close enough to match their partner's, no matter how many rounds they played.

Why This Matters (And What It's Not)

The authors suggest this helps explain why we sometimes feel like we're talking to people who "don't get it," even when we are actually quite close in our understanding. It also hints at why we might feel we are getting it when we aren't.

Crucially, this paper argues against the idea that we need perfect, unchanging memories to share meaning. In fact, the simulation suggests that being too rigid (like the non-adaptive agents) might actually stop us from ever truly aligning.

However, the authors are careful to say this is just a simulation. They haven't proved this happens exactly this way in real human brains yet. They also didn't test what happens if the agents are part of a huge, messy social network; they only looked at pairs. And they didn't solve the problem of how to make Artificial Intelligence (AI) smarter; they just showed that if AI models stop adapting to new data and just keep piling it up without weighing recent info, they might become "non-adaptive" and fail to align with human users.

So, the next time you feel like you and a friend are on different wavelengths, remember: maybe you're actually closer than you think, and maybe your friend is just too stubborn to realize it. Or maybe you're the one who's changing too fast to see the agreement right in front of you. The only way to know for sure? Keep talking, keep adjusting, and maybe, just maybe, you'll find that sweet spot where the "good week" means the same thing to both of you.

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