Digitally Mediated Romantic Relationships Among Italian Emerging Adults: a qualitative study

Technical Summary: Digitally Mediated Romantic Relationships Among Italian Emerging Adults

Problem Statement
Existing literature on online jealousy, cyber dating abuse, and social media dynamics in romantic relationships has been predominantly quantitative, focusing on prevalence estimates, correlational patterns, and risk factors. While these studies establish the diffusion of phenomena such as online control and jealousy, they offer limited insight into how these dynamics are interpreted, experienced, and negotiated within everyday relational interactions. Specifically, there is a need to move beyond descriptive accounts that attribute relational outcomes solely to technological affordances (technological determinism) and instead focus on the processes through which meaning is constructed in interaction. The study addresses this gap by examining the Italian context, where previous quantitative phases of a broader international project identified persistently high patterns of online control and jealousy. The research seeks to unpack the situated mechanisms through which jealousy, control, and intimacy emerge and are negotiated in daily digitally mediated practices.

Methodology
The study employs a qualitative, emergent-design approach, grounded in a sociocultural perspective and the cultural-historical tradition (Vygotsky, 1978; Veresov, 2010). This framework posits that psychological processes emerge through mediated social interaction within specific cultural contexts, viewing digital technologies as cultural mediators rather than neutral tools.

• Participants: The sample consisted of 17 Italian emerging adults (aged 18–24; 11 females, 6 males). Participants were recruited via convenience sampling among university students to ensure variation in gender, age, relationship status, prior relationship experience, and relationship modality (co-located vs. online-mediated).
• Data Collection: Semi-structured interviews were conducted in person. The interview guide was iteratively refined based on an emergent design, where sampling, prompts, and analytic focus were adapted as data collection and analysis progressed. The guide was initially inspired by the Cyberdating Q_A (Sánchez et al., 2015) but transformed into open-ended thematic blocks. The interviews utilized non-directive mirroring techniques (Rogers, 1951) to encourage deep reflection.
• Data Analysis: A reflexive thematic analysis was conducted using a combination of inductive, deductive, and abductive reasoning. The process involved line-by-line coding, iterative engagement with the dataset, and the use of analytical memos. Two coders initially worked independently, achieving 70% agreement, which rose to 100% after confrontation with other researchers involved in the project. Data collection continued until thematic saturation (redundancy in core themes) was reached.

Key Results
The analysis identified four interconnected themes that reflect the relational progression of digitally mediated romantic life:

1. Online Courtship: Social media functions as a space for noticing, evaluating, and approaching potential partners. Participants engaged in a selective reading of profiles, assessing aesthetic appeal, compatibility (hobbies, lifestyle), and originality. While physical appearance often initiated contact, social media also served as a practical tool for extending offline interactions. Crucially, once a committed relationship was established, online flirting with third parties was universally framed as a form of betrayal, comparable to offline infidelity.
2. Online Intimacy and Communication: Digital platforms are central to constructing closeness, emotional expression, and visibility. Intimacy is enacted through multimodal communication (photos, voice notes, emojis, video calls) and the sharing of daily life. However, the form of communication is highly sensitive to emotional tone; negative states often manifest as reduced multimodality (fewer emojis), shorter/colder texts, or silence. "Being left on read" and the strategic use of silence (as punishment, self-regulation, or a bid for attention) are significant relational signals. Public visibility (posting couple photos) is interpreted as a sign of recognition and commitment, though its meaning is context-dependent.
3. Jealousy as an Interpretive Process: Jealousy is not a fixed reaction to specific acts but a relational process tied to the interpretation of digital traces. It manifests in three forms:
   • Generalized: Any interaction with the opposite sex causes discomfort.
   • Situational: Dependent on specific cues (e.g., suggestive content, frequency of interaction, identity of the third party).
   • Retroactive: Triggered by the persistence of digital traces from former partners (e.g., archived photos, stories).
     Jealousy is linked to insecurity, social comparison, and moral judgments regarding respect and exclusivity. It is not merely a response to objective acts but to the meaning attributed to those acts within the specific relational history.
4. From Jealousy to Control and Intrusiveness: Control and intrusiveness are presented as relational developments of intensified jealousy.
   • Control: Ranges from occasional checking of visible indicators (status, followers) to invasive practices (checking phones, reading private chats). Control is often framed by participants as a search for reassurance or transparency rather than pure domination.
   • Intrusiveness: Represents an escalation where partners make repeated, insistent attempts to contact the other across multiple platforms despite silence or blocking. This behavior is driven by a mix of anger, worry, and anxiety, blurring the line between caring concern and boundary-crossing.

Significance and Contributions
The study claims to advance the understanding of digitally mediated relationships by shifting the focus from technological features to the situated interpretation of digital traces. Key contributions include:

• Reconceptualizing Digital Traces: The paper argues that digital traces (likes, response times, stories) do not possess fixed relational meanings. Instead, their significance is relationally produced through interpretation, shaped by context, expectations, and prior experiences.
• Extimacy of the Couple: The findings extend the concept of "extimacy" (public externalization of intimacy) from the individual to the couple. Publicly displaying the relationship is not merely performative but functions as a mode of recognition and social legibility, where the bond itself becomes a visible object of negotiation.
• Interconnected Relational Processes: The study demonstrates that online courtship, intimacy, jealousy, control, and intrusiveness are not isolated phenomena but interconnected dimensions of a single relational process. Jealousy emerges from the interpretation of visible cues; control arises when uncertainty leads to verification; and intrusiveness marks the escalation of this process when the need for reassurance overrides boundaries.
• Avoiding Technological Determinism: By framing digital technologies as cultural mediators, the study posits that social media do not directly produce jealousy or control. Rather, they reorganize the conditions under which intimacy, absence, and recognition become visible and interpretable.

Limitations and Future Directions
The authors acknowledge that the findings are specific to a qualitative sample of Italian emerging adults, limiting generalizability to other developmental or sociocultural contexts. The reliance on narrated experiences, rather than real-time interaction data, is noted as a limitation. The authors suggest that future research should expand the qualitative analysis to other national contexts (specifically Poland and Spain) identified in the broader project and employ longitudinal and dyadic designs to understand how these processes evolve and are co-constructed by partners over time.