Culture on the Move: Transnational Nigerian Masculinities and Identity Negotiation in the United States

For decades, scholars have studied how moving to a new country changes a person's life, often focusing on the struggles women face when leaving their homes. However, the experience of men is a different story, one that has received far less attention until recently. When a man moves across borders, he does not just change his address; he enters a new world where the rules for being a man are written differently. In many places, including Nigeria, traditional ideas of masculinity are deeply tied to a man's ability to provide for his family, lead his household, and command respect from his community. These expectations are not just personal habits but are woven into the culture, taught from childhood, and reinforced by daily interactions. But when these men arrive in the United States, they find that the American definition of a man often clashes with the one they grew up with. The question is not just about fitting in, but about how these men rebuild their sense of self when the ground beneath them shifts. This is the core of a new study that looks closely at how Nigerian men in America navigate these conflicting worlds, trying to hold onto who they are while learning how to survive in a place where their old ways of being might be misunderstood or even rejected.

The research, conducted by Omotayo Jemiluyi at the University of Missouri, focuses specifically on seventeen Nigerian men living in the United States. These participants, mostly graduate students and professionals, were interviewed in depth about their daily lives. The researcher wanted to understand the specific moments where their identity as a man felt challenged and the strategies they used to handle those moments. The study found that these men face significant pressure in five main areas of their lives: dating, family roles, the workplace, social norms, and how they relate to women. In each of these areas, the men discovered that their natural instincts, shaped by their upbringing in Nigeria, often led to confusion or conflict in America.

In the realm of dating, for example, the men encountered a culture where financial responsibility is shared differently. In Nigeria, a man is expected to pay for everything on a date, and this act is a clear sign of his capability and care. In the United States, however, splitting the bill or a woman paying for herself is common and often expected. One participant described the shock of trying to pay for a woman and her friends, only to be told that everyone should pay for their own meal. This simple act of paying, which felt like a duty back home, suddenly felt like an intrusion or a misunderstanding of the relationship. Similarly, the way men show affection changes. In Nigeria, romance is often practical, focused on providing gifts that last or solving problems. In the U.S., small, fleeting gestures like buying flowers are common, a concept that felt strange and impractical to men who were used to a more functional approach to love.

The challenges extend deeply into family life. In Nigeria, a man is often the undisputed head of the household, supported by a wide network of extended family and neighbors who help with childcare and daily tasks. When these men move to the U.S., that support system disappears. They find themselves alone in a nuclear family setting, where the expectation is that partners share all duties equally. One participant noted that back home, a wife might serve her husband food while he sits, but in America, that dynamic simply does not work. The men are forced to learn how to cook, clean, and care for children in ways they were never taught, taking on roles that were traditionally seen as feminine. This shift requires them to become the sole source of support for their families, a heavy burden that changes their daily reality and their emotional state.

Even in the workplace, where professional behavior is expected to be universal, cultural differences create friction. A polite request made by a Nigerian man might be interpreted as an order by an American colleague. In Nigeria, asking a female coworker to pick up an item might be seen as a normal, polite interaction. In the U.S., where sensitivity to power dynamics and gender equity is high, the same request can be heard as a man trying to boss a woman around. The men found they had to be constantly vigilant about their tone and word choice. A casual comment about a student's appearance or a playful joke about size, which would be harmless humor back home, could be perceived as offensive or even harassing in an American classroom. They learned that their natural confidence and directness could be misread as aggression or arrogance, forcing them to walk a tightrope of self-monitoring.

To survive these cultural collisions, the men in the study developed four main ways of coping. The first was resistance, where they consciously held onto their traditional values. Some men refused to change how they treated elders or how they viewed their role as a leader in the family, even when it felt out of place. They kept using honorific titles for professors and insisted on family consent for marriage, viewing these acts as a way to preserve their dignity and identity. The second strategy was learning and adaptation. Many men realized that to make their lives work, they had to change. They learned to cook, to split bills, and to speak more politely. They understood that adapting was not a sign of weakness but a necessary skill for survival in a new land.

The third approach was cultural sensitivity, which involved a careful adjustment of how they communicated. They learned to think twice before speaking, to modify compliments, and to avoid jokes that could be misinterpreted. They became students of American social cues, trying to understand the unspoken rules that governed interactions. The fourth and perhaps most striking strategy was silence and caution. In a society where racial stereotypes about Black men can be dangerous, many participants chose to stay quiet. If a situation felt tense or if they felt disrespected, they often swallowed their reaction rather than confronting it. This silence was not an act of submission but a calculated move to protect themselves from escalation. They learned that in the U.S., a small misunderstanding could have big consequences, so they chose to hold back their anger or frustration to keep the peace and ensure their safety.

The study concludes that these men are not passive victims of cultural change but active agents who are constantly reshaping who they are. They are not simply losing their Nigerian identity or fully becoming American; instead, they are creating a new, fluid version of masculinity that exists in the space between the two. This new identity is built on a mix of resistance, adaptation, and careful observation. The research highlights that this process is emotionally exhausting. It requires a constant state of alertness, a form of mental labor where men must watch their every word and gesture to avoid being misunderstood. The findings suggest that being a Nigerian man in America is a complex performance, one that demands a high degree of emotional intelligence and resilience. By understanding these struggles, society can better support migrant men as they navigate the difficult journey of building a life in a new country, recognizing that their identity is not fixed but is something they are actively and tirelessly constructing every day.